Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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