I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
