If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
