how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
