what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
