I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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