Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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