I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize