I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
