yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
sex in a hospital.. check
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
