i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize