playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
