Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
