Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
