i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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