I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
