i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize