You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
