i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We need to get me chipped asap
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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