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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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