i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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