so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
