Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
