U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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