Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
