If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
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Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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