okay pat passed out under dana's car
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
