It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
