this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
