____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
