It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
