she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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