FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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