I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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