he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
