I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
