Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
