Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
