You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
