is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
