Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
