if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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