Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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