i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
