i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
