You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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