He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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