There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
