he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
