I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
