just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
