I would go down on you faster than GM stock
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
cat food counts as protein by the way
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
