i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
