Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
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Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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