you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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