she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My penis needs a shock collar
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
