Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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