in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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