so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
