I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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