I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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