just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
