Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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