Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
