Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize