Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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